Christmastime Genocide and Clowns 

Another Christmas has come and gone which means that yet another pine tree genocide has passed and the survivors are safe for another 11 months before another mass culling of the pines. All in the name of tradition. Killed so revelers may bring a freshly cut tree into their house (and/or business) and decorate it with lights, glass balls, non-biodegradable tinsel and garland, and then there are artificial trees made of stuff that when the owner tires of the look of the old thing will never ever degrade in a landfill, not to mention light displays synced to music that draw crowds of spectators to parade by in their vehicles with landscapes full of inflatable plastic Santas and reindeer and, of course, it would not be Christmas without the occasional nativity scene. Add to this hordes of people descending on shopping malls, strip malls and big box stores like Walmart and their caucasian counterpart, Target, to buy a bunch of stuff they probably can’t afford or…new for 2021…hop on over to a major city and join a social media coordinated smash and grab at a high-end retailer for some extra special gifts under the aforementioned decorated tree.

 

With the exception of this recent addition of flash mob smash-and-grabs to the holiday, it sounds like a capitalist's dream if not an invention of retailers and one heck of a birthday party. Being a reverend doctor and all, I should probably mention that when you look at that old book the christians put together…and actually read it…you wouldn’t be wrong if you came to the conclusion the the (alleged) dude would probably prefer a much smaller, toned down birthday party and might actually be a tad aghast with what has become a combo birth of a savior/pagan solstice party involving adornment of a pine tree whose time had been cut short only to be pruned, wrapped in cords of twinkling lights and left to die slowly…or is it all just a metaphor for what’s (allegedly) to come for the (alleged) birthday boy?

Please don’t get me wrong (since I did play the reverend doctor card), I am not suggesting that there needs to be any more of a religious component to the celebration since, from my perspective, the people who run the religious gatherings and midnight masses are shameless opportunists as well. I just think it’s time to stop with the tree thing and maybe start doing a proper birthday party for an (alleged) person/savior/spiritual guru/deity incarnate. Like with balloons and more traditional “happy birthday” decorations…and change it up each year. Have a small party and get a clown instead of taking your kids to the mall and having them sit on an old perv-with-a-boner’s lap so they can tell him about all the stuff they want while he aggressively mutters “you’re sixteen, aren’t ya?” from under his beard.

Is there a moral to this story? 

Indeed there is…don’t get so stuck in tradition that you lose touch with what it is you are actually doing. Also, employing clowns is a much better way to celebrate a birthday than killing trees.

 

Rev. Dr. David

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