I remember the first time I saw a mechanic in coveralls, I was smitten. There he was, just standing there with his country boy smile and that lean-but-athletic physique dressed in his grease-stained coveralls…wait, what was this? Coveralls? My world changed. Mind you, I was pretty young at the time and just along for the ride with whomever it was that was needing said mechanic’s services but the important part to me, the most memorable part anyway, was the concept of an adult man wearing coveralls as daywear even if it was a uniform that covered his actual ensemble that he just wanted to protect from getting dirty which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, I mean, why wear anything underneath?
I continued to take note of the different variations of the onesie that I would encounter throughout my life. The caftan, drop-bottom footed pajamas, the toga, my favorite - the thawb, and perhaps the forever lazy depending on the degree of outdoor activities one may have. If I had to choose between a thawb and a nice pair of coveralls, I would go for the thawb…assuming I lived in a warm place, that is. 3 thawbs and 3 coveralls and you have it made in a 4 seasons climate. I could probably get away with 2 thawbs and a single pair of coveralls (for variety) but I digress. Star Trek outfits are cool too but I feel as though that would have made more sense when everyone was on coke and super skinny…or were they just malnourished and hungry?...I tend to over glamourize the past and romanticize the future.
Anyhoo, I often find myself daydreaming about a society where everyone wears the same thing - a white onesie/robe - so they could just focus on that which they wanted to focus on, do the things they needed to do, and produce that which they needed to produce all with greater efficiency and contentedness because they were no longer distracted by someone else’s fancy, beautiful, tacky or ugly clothing, the need to buy clothing, or their lack of ability to make sensible decisions with regard to fashion. There would be a headcovering, too, for all the genders to wear (not just the ones with titties). Everything covered but the eyes. No need for spending time and money on grooming. All people appear equal and are therefore judged on their actions, accomplishments and abilities without regard to their appearance, gender, or shade of human. It’s a beautiful society both aesthetically and culturally as I imagine it. Everyone is content, humans are living in harmony with nature because they are now focused on more important things (like being in harmony with nature). It’s a world of natural fibers, absolutely no synthetics...good riddance polyester and lycra. Distractions are few, the robes are always clean, and the sandaled feet always pedicured. Then it happens, every single time…some chick named Eve shows up with her Bedazzler kit and ruins everything.
Is there a moral to this story?
Though the stakes of fashion are high, they don't need to be. If you're the type to Bedazzle a "Forever Lazy" onesie, please stop, you missed the entire concept of the frock.