I was born with a very vivid imagination which has stayed with me my whole life despite the best efforts of public education and corporate America. I love to daydream…rather, I daydream quite a bit and it seems to give me a healthy amount of pleasure so I continue to do it and even make time to do it and have a special place that has become my favorite for zoning out, pondering life’s complexities and simplicities, or just enjoying the peace of the moment. Recently the view that has been both the backdrop and inspiration for so many treasured and crazy daydreams has been drastically changed.
It all started a few days ago when I noticed that the view from my preferred window to gaze out was obscured by what looked to be a very long pole with something mounted to the top and a wire running from the mounted object down the pole…like a security camera but aimed at my window. How crazy is that? Are they casing my place and taking an inventory for a future robbery? Are they just voyeurs? Don’t they understand that the act of observation changes that which is being observed? C’mon man, I’m no physicist but the observer effect is pretty basic and, being a reverend, if it weren’t for the kindness and generosity of others I wouldn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of so burglary is not the answer. It could only be one thing so naturally I did what any person who thought their privacy was being invaded would do, I took off all my clothes and went about my day completely naked. At my age I was as flattered by the notion someone was watching me as I was offended so I figured I’d give them a show. I did things one generally shouldn’t do while naked…including my daily workout routine with a few extra lunges and a pose or two - honestly more like six at least three of which were admittedly unbecoming of a reverend. Mind you my house is on a the rim of a canyon and very secluded so there was no chance I would be traumatizing an unsuspecting walker by. Anywho, the day went on and I lost track of time as one does when they’re trying to teach a peeping tom or nosey neighbor a lesson in basic physics and lo and behold, in walks my roommate.
Why was I in the kitchen naked? Why was I cooking without wearing clothes? What was going on? I could see the questions in his eyes and could read them in the his facial expressions. After a wardrobe change, technically this was not so much a change as it was putting on a pair of shorts but I digress, I explained the whole camera on a pole thing next door, my give-them-a-show-if-they’re-looking-for-it perspective, and the law of physics that compelled me to do so. My roommate now seemed to be holding back laughter. I realize I’m no Adonis but surely my figure is not laughable, what gives? As it turns out, he was actually laughing at the fact that I mistook my neighbor’s newly installed digital TV antenna for a camera so it wasn’t physics that compelled me after all. Interestingly but not surprisingly, I was a bit disappointed by this revelation. I continue to do mid afternoon workouts in the buff, just in case.
Is there a moral to this story?
Yes. Don’t abide by the laws of physics until you are absolutely sure of what is going on and what the actual variables in a situation are. Also, keep your clothes on until you know for sure you are being watched. And maybe try not to let security cameras change your behavior even though the laws of physics seemingly compel you to do so.