Quite some time ago, I remember reading that if a human were lost in the wilderness on a cloudy day without a map or compass, trusting their own navigational instincts, they will walk in circles and never find their way anywhere but back to where they started. Among other things, this is a great reason why you should never follow someone who you assume knows where they are going without confirming first that they have the proper navigation tools or you will more than likely just become lost together and end up right back where you started.
Navigating your way through life can be much like being lost in the wilderness. We try to “get ahead” and make the right decisions but so often we find ourselves at a crossroads requiring a decision that is eerily reminiscent of a crossroads decision that we had already made. Is this divine intervention or a twist of fate which gives us the opportunity to choose either to repeat the same decision but this time exercising more self-discipline (even to the point of masochism) in an effort to make this path work or to simply choose a different, less circular path which might make for a more peaceful and rewarding journey - albeit less familiar - even if you have to make it yourself?
Recently I found myself at a crossroads I had been at twice before. While there were very good reasons to take the path I did the first time, most of them became irrelevant by the second time around, yet I chose to continue on and even sought it out when it had become partially obstructed, a little foggy and littered with pig shit. And continue on, I did.
In hindsight, it seemed as though life had offered me this path as a gift the first time around due to the circumstances at that moment. The path had served its purpose and it seemed as though it was well-suited for me…it allowed me to capitalize on aspects of my nature that on other paths (and in society as a whole) might be considered flaws. So comfortable I was that when life offered me the choice to move on by changing the circumstances and offering signs indicating it was time for a new path, I, like most humans would, chose to stay with the one I knew because I felt it was a good fit.
Not all things that feel like a good fit are good for us. I know a human who, as a result of an obsessive-compulsive disorder, is a total clean freak. You have not seen a kitchen, bathroom and living space as clean and sterile as that of this particular human. When she is cleaning, she cleans with passion, it’s something that is both beautiful and unsettling to watch. Since she seems to enjoy it so much, why not trade in the crazy cash for a job as a house cleaner or janitor? Surely she’s enjoying what she’s doing, why not get paid for it…perhaps because she has this disorder, being a cleaner is her calling? Nope. Cleaning is not her calling, it’s her psychiatric disorder and she isn’t so much cleaning as she is battling her demons. Similarly, an alcoholic’s calling is probably not to be a bartender nor should an egomaniac be a cult leader, a control freak be an event organizer, or a pedo be a kindergarten teacher.
So the third time around, I chose to make a new path but this time with my mind and heart aligned with the intention of just be-ing. The path of a human be-ing. Maybe it’s true what they say, the third time’s a charm. Or not.
Is there a moral to this story?
Find your truth and live your truth but keep in mind that a path that accommodates a physical disorder but exacerbates a mental disorder should be both short and reconsidered. Also, there is a fine line between self-discipline and masochism.